Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
