I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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