i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
