it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
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You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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