Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
