If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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