What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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