Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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