I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
