Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
