Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
