Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
