Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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