toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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