My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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