dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
