i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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