After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
