We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
