he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
