I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
