After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so let's talk penis.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.