so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now