i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
