Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
