Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
