She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
