Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm too high and old for this...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
