Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
