AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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