Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We have started to decorate penises.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
my liver is dry heaving
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
