I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
