My room smells like vodka and shame
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges