Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
