there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
