remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
