I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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