tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
