I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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