I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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