i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
