5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
