My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
