dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
