It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize