I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
