It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
