I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
