im holly from the hills drunk
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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