well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.