I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC