the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?