but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.