Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
