I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
