just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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