Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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