I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
