he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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