All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she woke up with a sticky ear
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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