I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I seem to have left my pride at pride
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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