can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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