They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Floor bacon is actually really good
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize