you traded sex for a burrito?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
