she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
