Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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