She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
