she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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