just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
