it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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