if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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